Monday, February 25, 2008

April, 2007 Letter

I was going through my old emails and came across the letter I sent to our family and friends to give them an update on the adoption. I thought I would go ahead and post it here so it won't get lost among all my emails. I found a place that will turn your blog into a book. I'm very interested in doing this next year and giving a copy to each of my girls so I think including the letter is a good idea.
Here it is: (I just went to preview this post, the formatting is a little off and I can't seem to correct it, sorry).

April 4, 2007

Dear Family and Friends,

I’m sure by this point everyone has heard of our plans to adopt again so I wanted to give you an update and let you know where we are in the process, how long the wait will be, and try to answer any questions you may have.

First the paperwork/boring part:

Our paperwork (dossier) has officially been sent to our agency for a final review and if all goes well, which I trust it will, they will then send it on to China where we will wait for a LID (long in date; the date China receives our dossier). In the traditional China program this is when the “Big Wait” takes place, which right now has been running between 16-18 months and in some cases even longer. Which brings me to our second topic…

We are adopting Special Needs; what this means and why:

Initially when we decided it was time to make the move and adopt we knew we didn’t want to have to wait forever for a baby as Rusty and I are getting older everyday and well so is Gracie (yep, we age everyday ). We knew the SN (special needs) program went rather quickly as China wants to place these children into homes as soon as possible so we thought, let’s do this, it’s fast. Rusty was actually the one to suggest it along with adopting an 18-24 month old and to be honest I was a bit apprehensive, I mean I think we’ve done okay by Gracie but what do I know about raising a child who needs extra attention and extra medical care. Its one thing to unknowingly give birth to a child with a SN but to specifically request one is a whole different story. I told Rusty I would have to pray about it. That took place towards the end of summer last year and through the fall. In September we attended our FCC (Families With Children from China) meeting and as it so happened the majority of the families present were the one’s who had adopted children ages 2 and up with various special needs. I had seen all of these children when they first came home and rejoiced right along with their parents but had never REALLY stopped and paid attention to the transformations that were taking place in their lives. All I can tell you is that at that meeting it was like God clicked on a light in my brain and He told me “look all around you at these faces, remember what these little one’s looked like when they first came home, they were scared, withdrawn and developmentally delayed, but look at them now, really look at their faces and what their lives look like now”. I did. I saw a little girl who once had a droopy eyelid now running around with her big sister with only a hint of the problem she had once had to endure; another four year old blind in one eye and only home for one month holding her parents hands and laughing and squealing with delight who could say “mama, dada and love”. I saw little ones with slightly crooked noses and scars on their lips that were slowly disappearing from the wonderful surgeries they had to repair their cleft lips and palates. These children were so beautiful to me and I had such a revelation that it brought me to tears. I knew in an instant, and without hesitation, in that moment the Lord had put the calling on my heart to go and get our little one with a special need. We got in the car to leave and I turned to Rusty and I said “We are going to do it. We are going to China to adopt a toddler with a special need”. Rusty just smiled and said “that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, it just took you a little while to realize it”.

We have decided to adopt a child with a cleft lip/cleft palate. We met with a wonderful Christian doctor who will perform the procedure(s) when the time comes. He has actually gone to China on several mission trips and done cleft repair there. He told us that of all the SN adoptions we could do, this one would have the most life changing affect in a child’s life. He told us not to shy away from or feel overwhelmed by this. It is a “fixable” problem and at the most she would only maybe need 3 surgeries, speech therapy and then braces when she gets older. We feel extremely confident and are committed to our decision.

We submitted a medical request list to our agency mid February indicating the special need we felt comfortable with. For us, our “clock” started ticking in February and it typically takes 6-8 months for a referral that will be made by our agency. We look to hear something anytime between August – October. Once you accept the referral it takes 6-8 weeks to receive travel approval from China. If all goes well and we get a referral in August or September, we could conceivably travel the end of the year. When we get close to traveling we will set up our Yahoo group again so that everyone can follow our journey while in China. We promise to post this time.

What can you do as our family and friends?

Pray, pray, pray!!!! This will be a whole new experience for us. Our new daughter will be a toddler and old enough to know something is going on but unable to communicate how she feels about it. I’m sure you can understand how frustrated and scared she will be. Please pray that she will have an easy transition into our family. Also, pray for the orphanage staff, doctors, and nurses who are caring for her. Pray that if she has to have any surgeries before we can get to her that everything goes well and that they will have done a good job. Also, for the surgery or surgeries she will need once she gets home. I’ve been getting on line and looking at flights from Chicago to China to check on airfare and because there are so many families traveling to China every month flights book up very quickly. Please pray that we will have a comfortable flight over and that we will find four seats together (Mama will be going with us). Pray that Gracie will travel well and that she will also handle all the new adjustments. Pray for the remaining financial need for this adoption. He provided so well for us to bring Gracie home I have no doubt He will supply the need again.
My favorite verse of scripture is found in Isaiah 55: 8-9

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

I can’t tell you the number of times this scripture has come to me whenever I have struggled with difficulties in my life and things haven’t made sense. Not more than a year ago I never would have thought this is the road we were to go down but then I never thought we would ever go to China and we did and brought back a most treasured gift, our Gracie! His ways and thoughts definitely go beyond anything I could ever hope for. We want to change a child’s life while all along knowing we are going to be the ones truly blessed.

I was reading a message that a mother on one of my yahoo groups had posted about her Chinese daughter who was developmentally behind and I would like to close with her remark: “so your child isn’t as `advanced’ as the others in your group….take her home, love her, and be the one who stands between her and the world for the first time in her life”.

That’s exactly what we plan to do.

2 comments:

Laura said...

I found your blog while searching for other cleft blogs. My daughter has been home from China a year and has a cleft lip and palate. Congrats on both of your children.

What is the website that will make a book from your blog?

Laura
http://katieandsarah.blogspot.com

Leslie said...

Hi Laura,



So glad you posted. I just took a look at your blog and I have actually visited it before! I see your daughter from China was adopted at 28 months? Laurie Alice will be about 26 months when we bring her home. Gracie was only 8 months old so I know Gotcha Day is going to be completely different. I’ll go back and read more about your trip when you adopted her and hopefully get some good ideas. Also, I see Sharon updated your blog. She is such a sweetheart!!!



Here is the website to turn your blog into a book: http://www.blurb.com/create/book/blogbook



Nice meeting you!!!